I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
