Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
