Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
