i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
