oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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