White coat. Heels.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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