Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
