i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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