I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
