remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize