Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
