i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
