Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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