last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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