Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
