I cockslap morals
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
