I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
