I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
