Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
