i don't plan on having that self control this summer
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
