he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
