Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
