He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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