god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
