Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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