There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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