Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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