I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
