No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
