If that was your dad, he is hot
Sober January is a disaster.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
