For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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