HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
