talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
