Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Your cock deserves a montage
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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