hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
