Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
