I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
