like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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