I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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