no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
