you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
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I need you to use more vowels.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
