So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
