I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
