I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
