Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
