What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
