i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
