Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
