I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
