you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
