It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
not ubering you a puppy
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
