Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
