Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I checked into jail on foursquare
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
tell me about the eggs
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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