Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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