It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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